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[icon] There are no shades of grey, only shades of yellow.
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Time:11:15 pm
A man is never as tall as when he is made to crawl. I feel like I've evolved so much these past years.

Truly, I am a Warrior-poet. I walk the path of the warrior, adhering to my code, and my life is written to the beat of the poem.
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Current Music:Silence
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Subject:The bittersweet cannot be avoided; it is all there is
Time:06:13 am
Well, it's been a while. Maybe I've been feeling like I don't need this little box to blurt my problems, share my musings, and try to cope with the pain inside me.

Someone suggested a new relationship should help clear my head. So, after a while, I kind of thought of myself as available and somebody came along. She was good to me, and I think I was pretty good to her. We formed a relationship fairly quickly, and fairly deeply, although not nearly as deep as I have had rels.

About three weeks later, the twitches started again. I began to let show the dark inside me, my fractured psyche pushing forward for the point of alienation. I mean, it didn't work the way it wanted - I didn't drive her away crying through twitches and episodes.

No, I foresaw the pain, and withdrew to the point that basically precluded any growth. It's bittersweet, this note then, as I once more become alone. But then again, it is for the best.

It's kind of ironic, the way this shadwos my life: the best I can hope for, at least for a while, it is bittersweet feeling of being alone.
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Current Music:Sleep... hopefully without a catfight alarm clock...
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Subject:Dear God
Time:07:49 am
Please don't let Mamms and Sindel fight in my sleep. Help Mamms to realize than Sin's no threat to her, that I'm not replacing her, just hoping to provide her with a friend, a kitten with a home, and myself with another squeaking mouth to feed.

Well, and also, I guess, Satan, hear my plea... stir up no strife between my cats tonight.

And anything with the power to control the situation for good or bad, but chosing neither, a neutral point between god and the devil:
Keep on truckin', I guess.
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Time:07:58 am
Should I accept the punishment
When I’ve done nothing
Should I accept the flattering words
When I never deserved it
Should I accept the clouded sky
When I know – there’s the sun behind it
Should I allow my blood to circulate – when I want it to stop
-Panzer AG
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Time:03:47 pm
heh, maybe this'll be the month hat I actually update multiple times - well, since way back this year.

Here I sit, for a secret reason, fragments of lyrics racing through my head.

Christmas is coming, and with it, Doctor Who! w00t!

And stuff.

Not much has changed, still no job or stuff, but still fed and happy.

Except, there might be a visit to my folks in the brewing, which would suck, but might mean Legos...

How far will I go to Ego my Legos? We'll find out, I guess...
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Subject:Exception noted
Time:02:22 pm
So often, it is taught that existance is only possible with negation, that things, ideas, come in opposite pairs, eg, we know light for we know dark, and neither could exist without the other.

And yet... there are exceptions.

I am *happy*. Like, boundless. Sure, if I didn't have to work, it'd be better, but even so.

I suppose one could argue that only since I have been unhappy in the past, can I truely understand what it means to be happy, but what I'm feeling is straightforward enough.

There's something about working for 6 hours, picking up Taco Bell on the way home, then playing DooM 3 and Half-Life 2 until 4 am, sleeping past noon, working for 6 hours, getting a pizza delivered, eating pizza while watching Doctor Who and building a pirate fortress out of Legos, once again, sleeping past noon, working 6 hours, going to the grocery store to buy Nacho Pasta and tater tots, staying up and watching Harry Potter with the most hilarious subtitles ever, etc.

And of course, doing all this with your best friend, your soulmate, your better half...

This is what being alive is about.... it's about living. *Living.*
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Time:08:33 pm
Resident Evil 4.

Best reason to buy a GameCube.

Autumn borrowed her brother's copy, told me to play it. So I finally picked it up.

There was no strafing, and I had some quirks about aiming, but I kept on.

After I beat the game, I tried it again.

Now I'm into my third play-through... such a good game.

Grenading crows for money has never been so much fun!


Other than that, not much has been going on - except that I uninstalled Dr. DivX (again). Seriously, my computer doesn't like it. As in, imagine if a single right click crashes Windows. No copy. No paste. No delete.

Although I think the underlying problem was caused by a crappy .vob encoder. My regestry needs a good scrub.


Still, one moves on. Maybe when I have to finally encode or delete Omen II, I'll fix my computer.


And my philisophical ponder of the erm, month :-P:
Knowledge of the surrounding environment comes through observation, and, similarly, observation leads to knowledge. Now, one can observe and assume, at least, approximate causations, eg, by observing the refrigerator, inspecting the doorway, one can make what may or may not be logical assumptions of cause and effect, eg, that the light goes out when you close the door. However, of course, if you knew that the light was off, such observations and inspections would be unneeded.
So, imagine yourself in a 'closed' environment, as in, everything around you cannot leave, and no new observible things can enter. Given enough time, you should be able to completely understand, comprehend everything around you. Then, nothing knew would have to be observed, you could, from then on, be blind.

A similar situation would be the musician who becomes deaf, surely s/he would still be able to write and play pleasing music.

Now, imagine if you were able to comprehend your environment before being able to observe it, eg, a musian who creates music, as such, you would never have to be able to sense, to see.

So, in such a case, if we were such creations, musical notes, so to speak, then surely an omnipotent, all knowing creator could be unable to sense, to "see" us - and would not have any need to. He could plan everything, make everything into a single unified plan and carry it through without ever being so "weak" as to have to "check up on it".

So God could be blind.
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Current Music:The clanking of pants with chains in the dryer
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Subject:Just a little note...
Time:06:56 am
Current Mood:hopefulhopeful
After this post, I'm offline for a while. I don't know how long.

...because the computer is being packed up, taken to Our new apartment! It's not much, but it's more than We expected for less than We were planning to spend.

If y'all are around in Indiana, there's one place to not miss on your travel iteneray!

Other than that, my IL cell still works, so if you need Us, just ring in.


Later!
-A&A
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Current Music:Velvet Acid Christ - Zix Zix Zix
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Time:01:56 am
Current Mood:discontentimpatient for the mail
Why is the mail so slow nowadays?

...esp when pants are coming thus?
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Time:10:52 pm
Current Mood:amusedamused
Our life acoording to the Karma Sutra:

My wife calls her mother phat when I beat her.

Intoxicated by love, I close my eyes and bite my husband in various places.
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[icon] There are no shades of grey, only shades of yellow.
View:Recent Entries.
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